I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Come share oat with me in your robe
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
