They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
