Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
