We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
