He disabled his match.com account in front of me
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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