fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
