DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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