Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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