giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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