I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
