he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
