great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
