im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
