Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
