I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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