I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize