Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
