Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
