It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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