Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
