# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
only you would photoshop your dick
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
