Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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