i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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