If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
