just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
