i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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