This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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