Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
