Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
