Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
