Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize