You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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