Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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