New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
