We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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