what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
