We're like a lot better than the average bears
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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