Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
even my farts smell like vagina
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i've created a new STD.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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