i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
