Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he shaved USA in his pubs
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
