Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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