why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
