Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
