I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
