NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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