If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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