the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
