So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
