Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
