it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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