$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
