I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
