People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
