Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
