This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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