WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
