I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
