I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
