I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
