I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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