Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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