I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And then my night got REAL pukey
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
