Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
