I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
