I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
