yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
